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Sunday, March 21, 2010

Is what you see really what's on the inside?

The first couple of weeks went extremely smoothly with E. very obedient happy seemingly well adjusted kid. A part of me thought oh this is going to be an extremely smooth wonderful transition. He is not having any of the problems that some of the other kids are having. He's so happy and well adjusted , so resilent. As a teacher though part of me said when is the honeymoon going to end.( As I have seen time and time again children come into my class and I have none of the behavior that parents share with me, then about 2 weeks down the road this angel child lets there behaviors manifest.) Then the dust has began to settle. Routine has started to set in and the reality that he is here to stay forever with new people in a family setting is beginning to set in. He is not sure how he likes that. Not sure if he's safe here. Even though on the outside he seems he is extremely well adjusted doing way better than you could ever expect, home alone he is is adjusting and showing he's not sure how he feels about things. A freind has suggested reading The Connected Child by K. Purvis, It is ordered and on it's way. Hopefully it will help me to understand and deal with his feeling and bonding. Any other suggestions would be welcomed.


Cindy said...

He was a bit older then M but you can call me any time. I am off work all week.

NoSurfGirl said...

We had similar things. Our girls really needed boundaries to feel safe.. consistency with discipline, rules, as well as routine (especially food! They needed to know they were going to be fed soon no matter what.)

Other than that, it was simply time that helped us. And lots of playing with siblings in order to form those relationships. And doing things and talking about things in such a way that they had no question they were a part of the family. :) That includes having to follow rules...

it's hard. But gets better! At 8 months post, life almost feels normal again (well, aside from now having 6 children under the age of 9!)