Winter in Japan

Well we have been here 41/2 months now. I decided for Christmas it would be fun to do a Christmas ornament that represented where we were stationed. We were able to make it home for Christmas in the nic of time by a miracle of God. He provided a plane especially for us. Space A travel is tough and when you don't get the space cost you almost as much as flying commercial even if you only miss it one direction. Thank God we have a God and a job that provided the money. My dad was quite ill and it was good to see him and see how much progress he made in just the short time we were there. It was good to spend the holidays with friends and family. We were able to report that there prayers were working and we had settled in to our new home well. In fact after about a week in a half I was already ready to go back home and get back to work. The kids pretended like they wanted to stay in Utah but once on the plane were ready to see our friends and be back home. We just really love it here. I signed my letter of intent this week saying I'll stay for another year. What we love about here, is the peace both in our hearts and in the city. In my 41/2 months I have met one Japanese who was rude and he was probably just having a bad day. Even though we don't speak the Language the Japanese still treat us with great respect and kindness. I Love our church small, but loves God's word and loves to fellowship and love on people. I love that we are a typical family here no one could identify us by our races or family make up or even how long we've been here. The diversity is beautiful here. I love that I am not over involved and feeling stressed that I need to help here, the kids do to do this there etc. I love and hate at the same time how much freedom Roma has here. She is able to go and do and things are much safer here, but my little girl is growing up. There is a wide range of activities to do here for all ages but I don't feel stressed that we have to do everything. I do much better I think at doing family activities and spending quality time with the Family. We are much closer and the kids are much more obedient and learning to be more respectful as the Military community requires it. Being far away I have learned too I have no choice but to rely and trust in God and that has led to more peace and less stress in my life. Snow in the winter, there is lots of it. It's beautiful when it's not on the streets or you can stay home all cuddled up snug as a bug in a rug looking out at it. There is our update.

Driving Directions from Misawa

If you are ever board and would like to explore some of the things that are here around me I found this great blog. Also if your moving to Misawa there are some great driving directions. If you hit the link to driving directions and then near the bottom of the driving directions she typically has the post link that has pics and her experience. It is fun check it out


http://littleraindrops.com/blog/how-to-get-there/

10 Interesting and fun things I love about Japan

The Japanese windows have screens built into them. So you open the window and then pull the screen out of the window casing to close.

The Japanese put on the label or on the price sign where all things are from. What region, Now I just need to learn to read Japanese.

Japanese speak in Japanese to you like they think you understand them and smile.

Japanese are very organized in the way they clean up and take care of trash.

Japanese are very honest you don't get a white person tax here.

Potty Talk
Ok first I have to say I love having a warmed up toilet seat in the middle of a cold night.

I Like the idea of washing your behind every time you use it with warm water.

In the bathrooms at some restaurants they have music on the Toilets that makes white noise if you need it.

Some potties have the flush as a button on the ground that you step on.

I like how the toilet and Bathing room is separate. They have whole bathing rooms that have a shower and a drain in the bottom of the floor. All walls are covered with tile or plastic. It's an easy clean.

Shaking and Moving

Wow today's been full of excitement! So exciting that the ground just won't stop shaking! :) There has been 8+ earthquakes ranging from 5.2-6.6. The kids slept through the first 5 and then some tonight they have felt. It's a bit funny I have been asking everybody all day, did you feel that and it's small stuff for them. It has been raining all afternoon too. We seem to get a lot of moisture here. I purchased a car and signed a contract that was all written in Japanese. I am buying a 1996 CRV with 25000 KLM Yes you read that right about 15,000 Miles. You'll be amazed when I show you pics, it still looks new. So here in Japan they have a smog thing called JCI they check absolutely everything and it has to be in great running order or the dealership must fix it. So every 2 years you must do this. The air is extremely clean here. Then also I have to pay Road tax and insurance. They gave me a loaner car until they finish this. So I drove today(excuse the language) I typically do not like to have my A$$ on the line, but today I kept repeating it in my head so I didn't kill us all. It worked pretty well but now I have a broken record in my head. I only drove on the wrong side of the road once pulling into the Commissary and when a car started driving towards me I said shoot that's Roma's behind on the line and pulled over to the other side. He smiled as I drove by. Thank goodness most everyone on the base has been in my shoes before

Japan

Wow we have been in Japan 10 days now and what a great place it is
The move all happened extremely quickly. I had an interview, 3 or so days later got offered a job, within 2 weeks of the job offer I was on a plane thanks to my wonderful friends and family who are taking care of getting my house moved and ready to rent. The kids have adapted extremely fast to life here, I have to tell you Air force families are about the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. The Japanese are very kind and humble people as well.
How has Roma liked it?
She absolutely loves the fact that she is in High School. Yes that is correct 7th grade is High school here.
She is learning to be black :) She says "I have been white for the first 12 years of my life now it's time I learned to be black." (She cracks me up)
She loves the freedom of being able to walk just about anywhere on base and be safe. (don't worry she's been warned where she'll get taken down and have M16's pointed at her head.
She loves shopping at the BX "It's better than Walmart"
How does E like it?
He loves his new friends!
He likes being at school with mom and boy does it make things easier.
He likes umbrellas and walking in the rain,
He loves the retired jets parked outside our hotel.
He loves meeting new people and having a whole new group to talk to (nonstop)
He loves all the men and women in uniform
He loves rice and fish
What mom likes?
The people are so friendly. People just jump at the chance to help newcomers.
The diversity (I can't pick out my kiddos so easily anymore. In fact I yelled at a poor little kid thinking he was E in another teachers room)
The country side it reminds me of like a small town on the Oregon or Washington coast.
I love that people in the towns tolerate me not speaking Japanese and Communicating even though they don't speak English.
I love the weather so far.

Interesting things
At the end of the work day the American and Japanese anthems are played. People hide out in the office or their car, cause if you are outside you must stand at attention or with your hand over your heart until both are done. It's hilarious to watch and AFN actually has some commercials to discourage people from being bums.

Used cars like 12-20 years old are sold for high prices but have extremely love mileage like below 20000 miles.

Houses are heated with kerosene

Japanese toilets are located on the ground and you must squat.

Hi is used by everyone English and Japanese and does not mean hello.

There are at least 7 different types of rice.

Rad Resources

I wanted to share this post with you all that a person from or agency shared.
I just wanted to pass on (with permission) a list of resources compiled by one of the Mamas on my Guat Board. I have a 4 year old from Guat and my 15 month old is from ET. The Guat program (now closed) was the second largest adoptive country after China. Many of these kiddos are now teenagers or older. A lot of the issues seen in these children didn't surface until much, much later - after kids had been home for years even though these children were in Foster Care and forever home at 4 months of age. I've included her post in its entirety because of the struggle she had to identify issues and then seek help which wasn't readily available by her agency or her traditional therapists. I know there are several on this list living with challenges so I hope this will perhaps help in some small way. The field of Neuro Reorganization is getting a lot of buzz (I've been reading about it on just about every list I belong to!) and I think offers some real possibility not only for RAD but also for SPD, Autism etc. From Alison -

"With hopes that I don't overwhelm everyone, I'd like to share a number of links to some resources that are changing my family's life. Here's the quick & dirty version: 1) problems with your child's brain are likely at the root of whatever diagnosis your child may have received, and 2) there are ways to help your child's brain change that may eliminate the problematic symptoms and the need for medication and allow your child to develop to his or her full potential. (If you don't read anything else, check out the links on Neurological Reorganization below.)

First, a bit of background. When I first adopted, I remember hearing about the high rate of all sorts of issues among adopted kids - attachment disorders, ADHD, asthma, etc., and it pretty much infuriated me. I interpreted it as people looking for problems to "blame" on adoption. And my belief system was bolstered by the fact that my son was a joy as a baby, was seemingly securely
attached, etc. Fast forward several years, and things started to seem a bit off. Lots of anger that seemed directed specifically and only at me. ('Oh, it's just the terrible twos" said well-meaning but clueless people, or "He's just being a boy".) Low frustration tolerance, increasing number of explosive rages (with hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, unbelievably foul language, and
getting things hurled at me with increasing frequency both at home and while driving down the highway).

After reading (and ignoring) many recommendations on this list to check out Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, about 18 months ago I finally took the plunge, visited the website, and bought the first book. That led to buying many more books, taking online courses, etc. Over the last year, and particularly over the last 6 months, this journey has led me to so many things I never knew
about, would have scoffed at or dismissed as hogwash, crackery, or worse, and yet, the changes I have witnessed in my son (and that I have learned about in others' children both online and from people I know "personally") have been amazing, I have enormous faith that he will continue to "heal" as we continue to work on specific things, and my reticence at exposing or revealing our personal story has been overtaken by a strong desire to share what I've learned with others who are struggling so hard to do what's right for their children and their families.

So, after all that, some things I've learned and resources I'd like to recommend (again, with apologies for the length, but I wanted to get all this down together):

1. First is the effect of trauma and stress on the developing brain - the most critical of which is that it can leave those traumatized in a heightened state of hypervigilance at all times and predispose them to interpret the most benign things as actual threats (leading them to a fight, flight, or freeze state). Obviously, this is not a rational or logical response, because such a response is precluded. These kids have very little to no access to those parts of their
brain; instead their behavior is involuntarily guided by overactive lower parts of their brain (like the amygdala) that words cannot reach. Some books and websites:

www.beyondconsequences.com
www.postinstitute.com
http://www.danielhughes.org/
http://www.radzebra.org/ (Attachment and Trauma Network)
http://www.bonnieharris.com/re​sources.html (Connective Parenting)
http://www.childtrauma.org/ (Bruce Perry's site)

Listserve: dailyparentingreflections@yaho​ogroups.com (many members of this list are also on DPR).

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control Vols. 1 & 2 (not terribly well written, but full of good info)
The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis
Trauma Through a Child's Eyes and Waking the Tiger - both by Peter Levine
Building the Bonds of Attachment by Dan Hughes

2. But, as much as I believe in the Beyond Consequences and other
"therapeutic" approaches to parenting, I also believe that for some kids, it can only take you so far. Happily, the other really transformational thing I ...have learned more recently is that the brain is an amazingly plastic thing, and so much can be done (at any age!) to help it make connections it never had the chance to make (for whatever reasons) that can lead to all manner of problem
behaviors (including those usually diagnosed a ADHD, RAD, Sensory Processing Disorder, etc.). And the therapy that seems best able to help the brain is called Neurological Reorganization. NR is a movement based therapy that helps the brain build connections it is missing from the bottom up and takes it through specific developmental sequences that "normal" brains go through (with a huge emphasis on belly crawling and "creeping" on hands and knees).

The following websites give a lot of background on what NR is and what it can do.

http://www.brainhighways.com/ (A more "generic" less individualized approach that still seems to get some fabulous results plus they do a great job explaining and presenting it and they offer online courses for folks to do at home). The videos are also fabulous - presented from a kids' point of view. They also managed to get this program instituted into the San Diego School System.

http://activehealing.org/HTML/​home.html (Sargent Goodchild's group - he was diagnosed with autism plus lots of other stuff as a kid and went on to become "cured" after doing NR work for several years.).

http://www.developmentalmoveme​nt.org/default.html (Bette Lamont's site)

http://actg.org/ (A Chance to Grow- for those in the Twin Cities area) .

http://www.neuroreorg.com/ (Emily Beard's site).

http://www.attachmentandintegr​ationmethods.com/ (Very helpful site with lots of information about various disorders and therapies)

Listserve: NEUROnetwork@yahoogroups.com (Many practitioners participate, and there are numerous posts and saved files of remarkable success stories, including this one (which I have permission to link to): http://familystuffandjunk.blog​spot.com/2011/04/adoptioncom-g​uest-blo gger.html

We will be starting an NR program in a few weeks. There's no question that it requires a lot of time and dedication, but I am absolutely convinced that until we "fix" the foundation of my son's brain, all the other stuff will only get us so far.

3. The third piece of all of this is a bunch of complimentary therapies that I would have previously put entirely in the "woo woo" compartment and dismissed entirely. This includes things like Brain Integration Technique (or Crossinology), cranial sacral therapy, neurofeedback, and chiropractic. My son had about 6 hours of BIT just a few months ago and I saw an immediate reduction in the number, severity, and duration of his rages, a greater ability to control himself, and quick and sincere apologies following the times when he does still lose it. His teacher also reported that he was finally applying himself at school and made great progress right at the end of the year.

http://www.crossinology.com/ (has a list of trained practitioners in various parts of the country).

There are still more therapies (amino acids, various other supplements (including Fish Oil and Probiotics), specific diets, etc.) that I won't go into right now, especially since those are the ones I have the least understanding of so far."