Tuesday, June 14, 2011
abandoning what you know is best because your in another country?
So our vacation thus far has been really pretty great as far as behavior. I mean the a lot of teasing still goes on between the kids but other than that pretty obedient good kids. Yesterday however that changed. We have been doing swim lessons in the pool each day. I found some on You-tube and we been practicing each day. Okay to give you an idea of my personality as far as that goes, I'm not quite my dad "throw them in the middle of the pool and they'll learn to swim" but I do have very little tolerance for the screaming flip over and claw onto you behavior either. My thought is let them get comfortable in the shallow end playing etc and then take the to the deep end (where they can touch or almost touch) to work on swimming lessons. So we have been in this particular place 4 days in the the pool doing lessons. We'll today he decided he was not going to do them. When I brought him over to do them he was doing the claw onto me thing etc, I put him by the wall said we will try again in 10 sec. He takes off gets out of the pool is screaming on of course the one day we have neighbors. I count to three which believe it or not typically works. He runs not knowing where he is going. Typically my rule for runners is let them run don't chase them as they will just keep running. Also it encourages the running behavior. However, being in a foreign country not knowing my surroundings well (knowing that there are dogs maybe wild and Monkeys(don't know how they act with screaming kids) when he continued to run I chased, luckily I am still faster than him although probably not for long. Anyway here I am in my swim suit with a snorkle mask (perscription) so I could see because I didn't stop to get my glasses chasing a seven year old. That probably would of made a great video (LOL) running through the condos past the guard into the street chasing a screaming boy. I am able to catch him fairly quickly and then I can't let him out of the activity he was avoiding, otherwise it will teach him running or screaming will let you avoid things you don't want to do. So back in the pool, we finish what we were working and then after had his time to think about what he did he ask once again . "Who is going to take me back to Africa?" Every time he know mom is really upset at him, every time he does something really naughty that is the question, and every time the answer is the same. Sorry buddy you are stuck with us forever, just like Roma you are here and part of this family forever. This time I added that if I take him back to Africa and leave him the Judge will put me in jail because I promised to take care of him. We are at 15 months and he is still not sure he is staying. Good thing is it has been a few months since he has asked. Older adoption is a lifelong process.