Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My heart continues to Ache
Come to find out all was miscommunicated and the father was never there. As you can imagine I was once again devistated. Will this child ever come home? Is he mine to bring home? My heart breaks. This poor child has lost the only family he has ever known, Left the only town he has ever known, and now sets there with a hope to come to a new mommy and sister who love him, To this American family that has sent him pictures and who he is learning their names. How will he feel when his little friends who speak his language and came with him to the transition house with him leave? Will he think he is not loved because his mommy didn't come to get him? Will he be able to communicate? Will he wonder if he really does have a family coming to get him? Will he think oh no maybe my mommy was really coming for a different little boy. The one that was in then pictures. My heart breaks for him, my heart breaks that it's Jan and I still can't tell people if and when he'll be home. My heart breaks that there is a room setting here with clothes and toys and everything a little boy needs, but there is no little boy. My heart breaks each time anyone ask me when are you leaving and more importantly when will you have your son home? I had a new little boy start in my class this week who came home from Ethio in Aug who is the same age as my boy 5-7 range some of my students families mistakenly thought he was my boy and congratulated me, Though I would love to claim him as he is such a sweetheart, My heart breaks that I have to tell my them that no he's not mine. Though my heart literally hurts and this is probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through, I'm trusting God that there is reason and that he is aware of this situation and has it in his hands. I'm also asking that he fixes and heals the pain in my heart and comforts my son. I'm also asking that if it be his will he brings this to an end soon one way or another.